December 2, 2019

Dear Families,

I was taking some things to the dry cleaners and when putting in a jacket of David’s, I noticed a button pinned on it that said, “BE KIND.”

How do we live up to those words, and how do we help our children understand and live up to those words? A recent article in The Atlantic, “Stop Trying to Raise Successful Kids”, by Adam Grant and Allison Sweet Grant, challenges the simplicity of the idea.

The article (attached HERE) made me pause. I read and reread it - as a parent, educator, and adult. The Grants present the idea that success can be reached by being kind. They explain that:

"Quite a bit of evidence suggests that children who help others end up achieving more than those who don’t. Boys who are rated as helpful by their kindergarten teacher earn more money 30 years later. Middle-school students who help, cooperate, and share with their peers also excel—compared with unhelpful classmates, they get better grades and standardized-test scores. The eighth graders with the greatest academic achievement, moreover, are not the ones who got the best marks five years earlier; they’re the ones who were rated most helpful by their third-grade classmates and teachers. And middle schoolers who believe their parents value being helpful, respectful, and kind over excelling academically, attending a good college, and having a successful career perform better in school and are less likely to break rules."

They also point out:

"Kids learn what’s important to adults not by listening to what we say, but by noticing what gets our attention. And in many developed societies, parents now pay more attention to individual achievement and happiness than anything else. However much we praise kindness and caring, we’re not actually showing our kids that we value these traits."

This paragraph (and the entire article) raises questions for the adults at 75 Morton. How are we sending a clear message, creating opportunities to model, and weaving how we value kindness into our everyday lives at school? How do we create kind and successful scholars? Problem Solvers? Resilient individuals? Activists? Who lead by kindness?

The Grants end the article with the conclusion:

"Of course, we should encourage children to do their best and to take pride and joy in their accomplishments—but kindness doesn’t require sacrificing those things. The real test of parenting is not what your children achieve, but who they become and how they treat others. If you teach them to be kind, you’re not only setting your kids up for success. You’re setting up the kids around them, too."

The 75 Morton staff is reading this article and spending the next few months reflecting and planning, through the lens of kindness. I would love to hear your thoughts as we move forward in this inquiry.

And - don't forget that the Bowl-a-thon is next weekend! The school raises money through pledges so please support a bowler (or two) today!

With Respect,

Jacqui