March 2, 2020

Dear Families,

It is very interesting to me that when I look for topics to share with you about middle school and pre-teens, I see myself all over again with my daughters! If only I could go back in time and do parenting better. I am still playing catch-up.

Please read the article below:

Why Teenagers Reject Parents’ Solutions to Their Problems

The advice to listen and be a "sounding board", to use empathy, provide a “vote of confidence”, and offer “ideas, not instructions”, is applicable when talking not just to teenagers, but to spouses, best friends, and colleagues. Think about how often as adults we need to vent and just be allowed to be upset, to have someone tell us we are right, or get some realistic advice.

I loved this part of the article:

"More often than not, offering our teenagers an ear, empathy, and encouragement gives them what they came for. But if after that your adolescent is still seeking a resolution, some advice might (at last!) be welcome. Start by asking if your teenager wants help solving the problem. If you get a yes, divide the issue into categories: what can be changed and what cannot."

I am quite sure that all of you would agree that we all need people in our lives who respond to us this way: by offering "an ear, empathy, and encouragement".

We are all wired for human contact. In this world of electronics that provide instant information and communication, how lucky we are to have the opportunity for daily contact with our children.

My grown children now live outside the home. I continue to stalk them. I have always found it hard to resist jumping in with advice. But enough eye-rolls and stony silences have made it clear that this may not be the best approach. And so I will use this article to help me continue to navigate my relationships with my 20-something year olds. It is never too late!

With Respect,

Jacqui

Please, if you haven't already, read the important letter and FAQs released by the NYC Department of Health and Mental Hygiene this week about the novel coronavirus.